“It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” {or so I thought}
Crazy to think that another school year is here. Wasn’t it just last week that I was posting about the kids finishing up school? This ‘time flies’ stuff is no joke! I’m not going to lie, I am one of those parents who really loves when the kids go back to school. They need it, and let’s be honest, I need it. After 8 weeks of close living and non-stop togetherness, This family was ready! Abby and Oliver started on Tuesday (their first day was canceled because of Irene) and we fell back into the routine of packing up backpacks, gym sneakers, folders, and lunches pretty easily. It was like no time had passed at all when we stood at the bus stop in the morning. There were no tears, no wistful glances back at me, in fact, neither one of them even looked back at me. It was easy breezy.
And then yesterday Lila started preschool. I’d been preparing myself her for weeks. She seemed ready, and even a little excited. But Wednesday morning came and we were both feeling anxious. I pulled out the pretty polka dot dress that my parents got for her to wear on her first day only to have Lila pull it from my hands and throw it on the floor. “No dresses!” So, I let her pick out her own clothes. I started to object to the brown boots she asked me to help her put on but decided this was a battle I didn’t need to fight. I needed the day to go smoothly. We arrived at Montessori and I walked her in, assuring her that she’d have fun and I’d be back to pick her up after lunch. “Mommy always comes back?” she asked. Heartstrings start tugging. I wish I could say that drop off went off without a hitch, but in reality it was terrible. She was hysterical, screaming “MOMMY DON’T LEAVE ME!” at the top of her lungs as I walked out the door. I didn’t cry. I didn’t even look back. I just couldn’t. I came home to an empty house. It was the first time in nearly 9 years that I didn’t have one of my kids home with me. NINE YEARS. I called Montessori to check in on her, thinking surely she would have stopped crying by now. Nope, still crying. I needed to keep busy so I went to the grocery store (fun times, right?) and had to stop myself from grabbing one of the carts that has a car attached to the front where Lila usually sits. Lump in my throat gets bigger. I was in the produce section when it happened. I finally started crying. Everything just sort of hit me right then. She grew up….fast. I think with Lila, because she is our third, we sort of lost track of time and now all of a sudden she’s not a baby anymore, and she’s off to school. I know it’s only 3 days a week and we’ll still have so much time together but it still makes me weepy to think about. I miss the baby that she once was, but have enough good sense to be able to embrace and appreciate the little girl that she’s becoming.
and not to leave the other kids out, because the first day of school was special for them too (and Tock!!)
so much enthusiasm, right?
