Ahhh, regret– you sneaky little bastard.
My sister and I didn’t plan for our pregnancies to coincide with each other. We really didn’t. And even if we did, we couldn’t have planned the sexes to match up, or the personalities, or the love. It just happened, and all the while everyone assumed we planned it all. Nope. Kismet. That’s what it was.
And then all of a sudden Nicole was pregnant with Sam, and Tock was recovering from a vasectomy.
We were SURE we didn’t want any more kids. We waited almost almost 3 years after Lila was born to be sure. Yup, we were sure. I even gave up “my” boys name to my nephew…Samuel John.
No more babies for me, and we were fine with that. We MacInnes five– we were complete.
And then this kid– this Samuel John– this fourth baby of my sister’s– he went ahead and stole my heart and made me wish and want and weep for just one more. I pack snacks just for him in my beach bag. I seek him out and say “Hi Sam!” even though I know he’ll look at me in that adorable Samuel John way and say “No, DD!” right back at me. He made me want another one. Sort of. Kind of. A little bit. Or, maybe I just want Sam.
Yes. I think that’s it. That has to be it.